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Closing the hatch, they stood in the backstreet, the streetlight illuminating the area, the cobbled stones shining underfoot. ‘My car is parked around the corner, stay here, I’ll go and get it and then come and get you.’ She clutched at his arm, her nails digging in, frantic with worry. ‘Please don’t leave me.’ ‘I’m not. But I need to get the car, and they might see me. You’ll be safer if you wait here and I come and get you. I’ll open the side door, and you can jump in and we can speed off.’ ‘Promise me you won’t leave me.’ Looking down at her, his blue eyes clear and bright, he smiled, and said, ‘Promise.’ Pushing her into a small gap in the wall, so that she was partially hidden, he fished into his jeans pocket and pulled out his keys. Walking very fast towards the country pub car park he pressed the button on the key fob so that the doors to his car unlocked and ran the last ten yards, looking towards the doors of the pub as he did so. Jumping into the drivers seat he started the. It’s making me ill. Every day I wake up and feel sick, sometimes I even vomit. I’m a mess, Richard and it’s got to stop.” “I don’t understand,” I began, my mouth drying up with alarm. “I thought you loved me, that you enjoyed being with me.” “I do but this isn’t the way to carry on, Richard. It’s not real, snatching hours here and there, fucking almost every time we get together. It’s all wrong. We can’t live in the past or try to recreate it. Don’t you see, it’s all a fantasy we’re trying to live.” I shook my head. “No, it’s not a fantasy, not at all. We love each other, don’t we? That’s not pretense, it’s real. Okay, it’s not ideal but surely these hours we spend together are better than nothing. Better than the thirty years we spent in the wilderness, surely?” It was Gaynor’s turn to shake her head. “No Richard. As much as I love being with you, it’s tearing me apart. I can’t keep pretending. A part-time love affair isn’t what I want.” “But…” Gaynor cut me short, wrapping a hand.
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